Wants

The weather in Toti is cooling off a little. Today is overcast and VERY windy. I am really enjoying it more! Still sticky from the humidity. I wonder if it ever goes away! I'm sure the lower the temp gets, the less the humidity effects you.

The kids are enjoying being here for the most part. Marissa and Mya have lots of friends, and love playing with the neighbors and swimming in their pool. Today they went swimming with them, and then joined their family on a trip to a nature reserve. When they got home, they came and played at our house and now they are back swimming again!

Brandon has really missed Joburg. He misses our home there and he misses his friends. He has enjoyed the youth here, and is making new friends, but it takes longer to make close friends as a 13 year old boy than it does for a 5 or 10 year old girl. :) He LOVES the ocean. We don't spend enough time there in his opinion (mine, too). Just yesterday he said it was calling him.

I have been lonely for a close friendship, as well. It will come with time, I'm sure! I have loved meeting new people, and especially love our new church, Grace Baptist Church in Amanzimtoti. The people are friendly, the messages are sound, and I love singing in church again. I have played my flute in church for the last 11 years and I didn't realize how much I missed singing in the services. And there's just something about worshipping in a church where I can sing my heart out and I don't stand out in the crowd because there are lots of people and the sound is full enough to drown me out.

People keep asking me how I feel about the move and if I'm settling in and I don't really know how to answer them. I am content to be wherever God wants me. I am glad I have my family together. I love the ocean. But that doesn't make it easy.

When I left Joburg, a good friend helped me put things into perspective. People kept asking me if I was excited. If I was completely truthful, I would have answered, "I don't know!" I couldn't figure it all out. And she simply said that I must be experiencing the same emotions as when I left the US and came to South Africa. She hit the nail on the head. I didn't know what to expect in Durban.

I hate goodbyes. I hate being far away from those I love. I would love to live close enough that I could pop over to one of my sibling's houses and spend time baking together or playing games and laughing. I want to live near a close friend who loves my children and will babysit at the drop of a hat. A friend who desires to spend time with me as much as I desire to spend time with them. I want to be able to have a meal with my Mom or go shopping together. I want....

But I  have found that I can't allow myself to dwell on "I want". Because, for now, that's not what I have. And it's not what I REALLY want. What I really want is to do whatever I can to point others to the cross of Christ. And if being in a close proximity to my family and dear friends isn't the best way to accomplish that, then it's not what I really want. It would be hard, anyway, as they are scattered from South Africa to Switzerland, Ireland to Alaska, and everywhere in between!

So, for now, I will continue praying for one dear friend here in Durban. One who will laugh with me, cry with me and prod me to walk closer to Christ. And I will continue to love those of you that are far away with all of my heart, because it's the only way I know how.

I am grateful for my husband and children, and the close bond that we have and the way that we can minister together. I am looking forward to the day that we can all worship together in Heaven.