How do I leave for so long? This has become my Africa. I am intertwined with the people here. Their hurts are my hurts and I rejoice with their rejoicing. I am pouring my life into others, and in turn get so filled!
How, in the midst of discipling 3 young girls that live in not so ideal situations - girls that come stay with us for a few days every now and then just to get away? How, when a friend's marriage is on the line, and you have the chance to encourage each other often in the Word? How, when a young girl in your small group just accepted Christ as Saviour and has so much growing to do? I am not so naive as to think that Christ cannot grow, heal and encourage His children without me. But I love them! They have become family to me. I love being a part of their lives.
Yet I can't imagine not going, when my family in the US is changing so quickly that I do not really even know them! While away these three years, just to name a few changes, my brother died, 2 nephews got married and I haven't met their wives, babies were born, cross country moves.... I miss the laughter.
(I must admit, this is not a daily struggle that I allow myself to indulge in. It would be crippling. I find I actually miss my family more as I come close to going back each time, as I allow myself to think about it more.)
I want to drink in every moment of the time I will have with them. I want to know them, and I want them to know the me that I am today. And then I want to come back.
It won't be easy returning to Africa, either. I will say goodbye again, leaving the family that I love. And then I will try to jump back into the lives of people that have gone on with their lives for a little while without me.
