My Trimaversary

"Once you discover nothing tastes as good as peace feels, the journey becomes less and less about food and more and more about God." 

Lysa TerKeurst

Yesterday was my Trimaversary. It was one year ago on September 9 that I started my journey of eating healthy with Trim Healthy Mama.
I had been challenged in the past by God to show self-discipline in my life in the area of food/health, but after many ups and downs, I struggled so much with finding my "want to" that I just couldn't get started!

I went on furlough last year weighing more than I ever have, and discouraged because I knew I would gain more weight while in the US. I hated having pictures taken. It was so hard to choose pictures for our prayer card, because I didn't like any of them! I was on furlough for 4 months when I stepped on the scales and was in shock when I saw how high the numbers were. I had kept promising myself, "I'll never get higher than ___," and I was higher than every one of those promises.

I had two good friends (one in the US and one in NZ) that had shared with me about THM on numerous occasions, but I was afraid to spend that much money on a book. I was afraid that it might not work for me, or even more, that I might not have the will power to stick to it. I tried to get it from the library, but it was always checked out with a long waiting list. This day I was desperate. I just had to make a change. I bought the ebook, and started reading it right away. I stayed up late, devoured half the book, and made changes immediately. I didn't tell anyone that I was trying something new because I thought I might fail! 

In the first week I lost more than 5 lbs. Even though we were on furlough, I was able to cook for myself most of the time. When we were traveling or at other's homes, I just made the best choices I could. If someone made me lasagna, I ate it, and then was right back on plan in 3 hours. By the time we left for the field, 2 months after I started THM, I had already lost over 25 lbs! I have continued THM on the field, and, after a year, have lost 55 lbs (25 kg). I am just lower than my pre-pregnancy weight - FINALLY, as my first pregnancy was 16 years ago, and my last one 13 years ago! I have gone from a US size 18 to a US size 8/10. 

Trim Healthy Mama has helped me implement change. I am not at my goal weight, but I know I can do this. I cannot ever see myself returning to my former eating habits.

(It was these before photos that contributed to my decision to make a change! I don't have good before pics, because I hated having my picture taken!)

Before

After

Whether ye eat or drink...

(So, whether you eat or drink), or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 

1 Corinthians 10:31 (emphasis mine)

I had a LFL (lesson for life) moment in church this past Sunday. This is something that will seem so simple to you! However, it was an aha moment for me which was a reminder from the Holy Spirit to apply this verse to where I am in my life right this moment.

Above is how I usually read/quote this verse. I emphasize the italicized. I use it as a reminder to myself when I'm cleaning, cooking, doing a mundane project for someone else, the list goes on endlessly! I quote it to my children, probably far too often, but there are so many situations to which it applies - whatever you do, do all to the glory of God! (Now I'm singing - "Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you, 'cause He made you, to do everything you do to the glory of the one Who made you" - "Do Everything" by Stephen Curtis Chapman)

BUT, I have always conveniently ignored the part of the verse that says whether you eat or drink. I know in context Paul isn't referring to overeating when talking about what you eat, but it's another "whatever you do"! I struggle with my weight/diet/exercise which I have blogged about before. I have a hard time keeping motivated in this area and have come to the realization that this is a lack of self-discipline in my life. But I have never connected this verse to this struggle! And when I read this verse in church on Sunday, it was like a light went on. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for this gentle reminder that God's Word is a sword in my battle to strive to be more like Christ.

God, help me to throw off every weight so I can run with patience and abandon!

Quick to hear, Slow to Speak and Slow to Anger

James 1:19b-27 (Emphasis mine)

19But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;

 ²⁰for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.

 ²¹Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls.

 ²²But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves.

 ²³For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror;

 ²⁴for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was.

 ²⁵But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.

 ²⁶If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless.

 ²⁷Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.

I was so challenged by this passage in my quiet time this morning! Thank you, God, for reminding me that controlling my tongue and my anger are ongoing challenges in my life. I must continually check the mirror to see how dirty my face is and that it needs to be washed clean again! Lord, please change me. Renew me. Make me a doer of Your Word! I love that I have more than a religion with you, but a relationship. Abba Father, I am relying on Your strength to help me control my tongue and to help me to be slow to anger with my children. Implant Your Word in my heart and life.

More Memorizing Scripture

Deut 6:5
Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul and with all thy mind.

Memorizing Scripture

I have a love for the Word of God, and memorizing scripture is important to me! Also, as a youth leader, I feel that I don't have the right to expect more of my youth than I am willing to do myself, so I am committed to memorizing scripture with them. The tricky part is that I am a Jr Youth Leader AND a Sr Youth Leader - so that's twice as many verses!

I am going to try to remember to quote them here as an accountability for this discipline I'm striving toward. Here's the first lot for the year....

Genesis 2:7 And the Lord God formed man out of the dust of the ground and breathed into His nostrils the breath of life and man became a living soul.

Genesis 1:27
So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him, male and female created He them.

Luke 2:52
And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.

Proverbs 31:30
Favour is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

Words, Meditations, Rock, Redeemer

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart 

be acceptable unto you, O LORD, 

my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

I can't tell you the number of times that I've prayed these words in the last week. They have been a source of strength to me. Lord, let my words be acceptable in Your sight! If my meditations are acceptable in Your sight, how much easier it will be for my words to be acceptable! Lord, please help me to meditate on Your Word!
And how grateful I am that you are my Rock - never changing, never failing, always present God! and my Redeemer!!! Thank you, Lord, for your vast forgiveness, unfailing love, and for being able to do exceedingly abundantly more than I can ask or imagine to change my life.

Our Great High Priest and A Perfect Sacrifice!!!

WOW!!!! That was the first thing I wrote in my Word of Life Quiet Time this morning.... (Now, for those of you in the US using the Quiet Time, we're on a different schedule here in SA, so don't think I'm crazy. You've already done this. ;)) But, back to WOW! I love how God works.

You see, 1). I am in week 10 of Beth Moore's study, A Woman's Heart, God's Dwelling Place (about the Tabernacle), 2). AND my pastor has started a series on the tabernacle Sunday nights at church, 3). AND about a month ago, God brought me in my QT to Hebrews - which brings to light that JESUS is the only sacrifice that takes away my sins, the only priest that can sit because His sacrifice is once and for all, that He is a better priest, a better sacrifice....

Now, do you think God is trying to teach me something?? Well, I KNOW He is, always! But, specifically today, I HAD to share. I'm STILL going WOW!!!

First read what I read....

Hebrews 10:19-25

Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us through the veil, that is, His flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

Now, in the OT Tabernacle, ONLY the High Priest could enter beyond the veil to the Holy of Holies, and he had bells on his garment so that people knew that he was still alive when he moved, and a rope tied to his leg so that if he wasn't they could get him out. Our God is a holy and just God, and if they didn't follow His regulations, there was consequence!
But when Christ died on the cross, that veil was torn, top to bottom. Read the Hebrews passage again - the veil that is His flesh! When Christ died on the cross He gave us access to the Holy of Holies through faith, "having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water."
But before we get carried away, let us look at the "therefore". Now I'm sure that you've probably heard, like me, that when we see the word "therefore" we must look and see what it's there for! It's a matter of "if this", "then that"....
So, these are some of the verses that stood out to me as I looked back on Chapter 10....

For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins. v. 4

By this will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. v. 10

Every priest stands daily ministering and offering time after time the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins; but He, having offered one sacrifice for sins for all time,  SAT DOWN AT THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD, v. 11-12

And I am reminded of Hebrews 7:23-28:

The former priests, on the one hand, existed in greater numbers because they were prevented by death from continuing, but Jesus, on the other hand, because He continues forever, holds His priesthood permanently.
Therefore He is able also to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them. For it was fitting for us to have such a high priest, holy, innocent, undefiled, separated from sinners and exalted above the heavens; who does not need daily, like those high priests, to offer up sacrifices, first for His own sins and then for the sins of the people, because this He did once for all when He offered up Himself.
For the Law appoints men as high priests who are weak, but the word of the oath, which came after the Law, appoints a Son, made perfect forever.

Is anyone else saying "Wow" yet?
Anyways, back to Hebrews 10 and the "therefore".  "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near."

It really speaks for itself, but it challenges me. This year has been a challenge toward self-discipline. I want to run the race with abandon! (see previous post) So, in light of that, this is the challenge that I received from Hebrews 10 today....
1. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful;
2. let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds
3. not forsaking our own assembling together
4. encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

I could expound on each of those points, specifically how I feel God is challenging me in each of them, but I think this post is long enough and I'll save it for another day. Thanks for following down the "therefore" path with me today, and I hope someone out there is saying, "WOW" with me as we consider God's Word and how amazing HE is!!!

Contentment

This months' study in Disciplines of a Godly Woman was on contentment. I liked how she evaluated contentment as godly discontent or ungodly. 

I want to have a godly discontentment with my relationship with God - always longing for more of Him, more time in His Word....

I want to stop and ask myself, why am I discontent? And if it's ungodly discontent with my circumstances or those around me, I want to throw it out the window in search of a stronger relationship with God!

"If contentment is found in a growing knowledge of God combined with trust in God regardless of your circumstances, what is missing from your Christian life when you are discontented - knowledge or trust?"

 As the deer pants for the water brooks, 
So my soul pants for You, O God. 
Psalm 42:1

Weight Loss

Really struggled with discipline in the area of eating over the weekend, which bled a bit into my week. Doing very well today, and want to exercise, but am EXHAUSTED as Mya has had a stuffy nose and cough and is not sleeping well at night. I might just have to take a nap!
Haven't lost more, but haven't gained. Down 5 pounds so far.

Random thoughts from Bible Study

Just wanted to share some random thoughts from my Bible study, A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place, Member Book UPDATED.

Exodus 33
1 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Leave this place, you and the people you brought up out of Egypt, and go up to the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, saying, 'I will give it to your descendants.' 2 I will send an angel before you and drive out the Canaanites, Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. 3 Go up to the land flowing with milk and honey. But I will not go with you, because you are a stiff-necked people and I might destroy you on the way."

God was going to send an angel with them, win wars, fulfill His covenant, but He would not go with them. Moses said, PLEASE! If your presence does not go with us, do not lead us from here! Moses had experienced God's presence. Verse 11 tells us that "The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend." Moses would rather not go to the promised land if it was going to cost Him the presence of God!

I want to have the same kind of passion. NOTHING on earth is worth risking separating myself from the presence of God! Sin keeps me from the presence of God. He is Holy and cannot tolerate sin! I want to ALWAYS view sin in that point of view! Of course I can't be perfect, but in my striving for self-discipline, I want to sin less, and have a short account with sin. I want to be sensitive and confess sin quickly, turning away from it.

Verse 16 says "Or wherein shall it be known here that I and thy people have found grace in thy sight? is it not in that thou goest with us? so shall we be separated, I and thy people, from all the people that are upon the face of the earth." In other words, If you don't go with us, how will they know we're Your people?

I want people to know that I am God's because of the time I spend in His presence. As I spend time in His presence, I will become distinguishably His!

God, please transform my life. I want to be more like You. Please wash me with Your word, and do a work in my life that is immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine.

Weight Loss

I think I've finally found the self-discipline to get back to weight loss. Started exercising a little yesterday and started eating right today. Really want to do this, and really am nervous to share for fear that I won't stick to it. Maybe this will help keep me accountable. Here we go!

More from The Discipline of the Mind

I have thought often this week on Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

It has been a real challenge for me to bring my thoughts under discipline. I find that while I try to control what I say and how I say it, I don't try to have such a rein on the thoughts of my mind. I might often allow myself to think something that I would never say, indulging in grumbling and selfishness in my thoughts.

As I met with Mandy and Ann today, we challenged ourselves to CHOOSE our thoughts. When a thought comes to mind we don't want to have, to put it off and put on good thoughts, ones that are true, honest, just, etc.

I was also challenged today by Psalm 119:97-100.

O how love I thy law! it is my meditation all the day.
Thou through thy commandments hast made me wiser than mine enemies: for they are ever with me.
I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation.
I understand more than the ancients, because I keep thy precepts.

I want to be diligent in reading God's Word every day AND to meditate on it throughout the day. I don't want it to be just another checkmark on the "to do" list, but something that changes me and washes me, remembering all through the day what God spoke to me about in His Word. I want my time with God to be fresh and I want to spend time looking forward, with the excitement of a child, to my time alone with Him.

I also was challenged to continue my "read through the Bible in a year." In the "busyness" of life, I have let it slip, and though I won't finish by the end of the year, I'm going to pick it up where I left off and carry on. It made me think of FLYlady. FLYlady often says you are not behind. Just jump in where you are!

Life...

This month's discipline (Disciplines of a Godly Woman) is the mind. Pray with me that in the midst of "busyness" that I would keep my mind stayed on Him. "...whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8

My "busyness" right now seems daunting sometimes, but I feel that my steps are being ordered by the Lord! Thursday night we had 3 friends for a sleepover, got up and went ice skating, back home to fetch Brad and drop him off at the office, home for 1 hour, pick up friends for Olympians (jr. youth), go to Olympians, Rissa & Mya off for a sleepover at a friends, off to run a Micro F1 at another church's Olympians club, drop Brandon off for a sleepover with his sisters, and home again.

Today I have guests coming over, Olympians training, a Birthday Party for an adorably sweet little 2 year old boy, music practice and senior youth at our home church.

Tomorrow we're looking forward to going to church at Community Baptist in Leondale and then attending a birthday party/bring & braai. Love fellowship with good friends!

Our week slows down a bit, back to homeschool in the mornings, though there is something extra almost every day. We may have extra practices this week for the drama that the kids are in, Fiddler on the Roof.

Monday we look forward to our best friends visiting in the afternoon and I got to a Beth Moore Bible study in the evening, Tuesday eve is Bible Study at church, Wednesday late morning/early afternoon is drama practice and late afternoon we go to visit friends. Thursday is usually our day at home, but this week I meet with my mentor (once a month) while the kids play baseball with some homeschool friends. Friday we start that weekend all over again! Though weekends are usually quite AS hectic as this last one was. ;)

Well, I better get back to tidying up my house for those visitors this morning! Thinking about making some monkey bread.

Disciplines of A Godly Woman

Once a month I meet with a friend, Mandy Neilson, and we study the book Disciplines of a Godly Woman by Barbara Hughes. Here are some things that really jumped out at me from this month's chapter, The Discipline of Worship.

After the service, everyone asks, 'What did you think of the service today?' or they slip out the door as quickly as possible. The real question should be, 'What did God think of it - and of us?" We ought to ask, 'What did I give to God?'

Worshiping 'in truth' means that we come informed by the objective relevation o God's Word about the great God we serve and the precepts He has spoken. In this sense our worship is governed by what we know and believe about God. The better informed we are, the better we can worship.

The next quote is from A.W. Tozer

Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to one standard to which each one must individually blow. So one hundred worshippers met together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be were they to become 'unity' conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship?

She also had some good ideas at preparing your heart for Sunday morning worship, as well, like laying clothes and Bibles out on Friday evening, along with anything else that you might need, praying for the Worship service ahead of time, getting up early on Sunday morning so you have plenty of time to get ready, and even spending a time of prayer as a family on Sunday before you leave for church.

Joy

I want to find joy in all the little things I do today, thanking God for all the blessings that He's given me.
Thank You, God, for giving me kids to clean up after. Thank You, God, for providing us food to cook. Thank You, God, for possessions to tidy up. Thank You, God, for clothes to wash. Thank You, God, even for the trials, though I may not understand why they continue, I know that You are trying to strengthen me into the person You want me to be.

Chastening and Encouragement

While reading a book this week entitled "Disciplines of a Godly Woman" by Barbara Hughes, I ran across this quote that has really challenged and encouraged me. I almost cried.

A member of our church, Marilee Melvin, wrote in our church letter about her mother's dependence on prayer: 

I remember a night when I was asked to help get dinner on the table. Dad was out of town, and Mom, seven months pregnant and caring for five children ages two to nine, was serving my most-hated meal - black-eyed peas and Spam.... I complained loudly about the dinner, and soon Mom disappeared from the kitchen. I called to find her and got no answer.... Something drew me to the basement, and I found her at last in the furnace room. It was completely dark, and she was crying. Seeing her seven-year-old standing there in fear, she wiped her eyes and told me she needed to come pray for more strength. That early image of Mom as intercessor and supplicant fills my mind and memory now with its poignancy and truth. Instead of shouting in anger at my childish insensitivity, she withdrew to call on more reserves from her heavenly Father, abundantly available to her  for the asking. (2 Corinthians 9:8)

I met with my mentor this week (we meet monthly), and we are studying this book together. I was so encouraged after our time together around the Word of God. This month I am going to make it a point to speak with gentleness to my children and to be more disciplined in the areas of time spent in prayer and controlling what I eat and how often I exercise.

I am weak, but He is strong

Well, I am thinking I need to post the good, the bad and the ugly.
I am tired. Not just physically tired, but overall tired. My house is a mess, I have 4 loads of laundry to fold and probably 4 more to wash, my daughter (7) is broken (broken clavicle), home school seems overwhelming this week, etc.... I'm tired of trying to control it all. I can't do it. I know God can do all things, but I don't see how He can do it all through me.
Why does it seem like when I am trying to surrender and run the race with self-discipline that life gets so frustrating?
I had a cup of tea, and I am going to put my "baby" (almost 3 now) in bed, spend a little time with the Lord and then turn up the music and have a crisis cleaning session.

Super Fling Boogie

In an effort to allow the Holy Spirit control EVERY area of my life, I am working on getting my home under control. This will make SUCH a difference in my life! Peace and less time wasted, to name a couple ways! Anyways, we have been doing a Super Fling Boogie this week. We have decluttered/organized the kids rooms/closets, the lounge and the office. Tomorrow it's the master bedroom and bath.

The other area to tackle this week is Mt. Washmore. It has been raining for about 2 weeks and I am behind on laundry! It takes 80-90 minutes to dry a half load in the tumble dryer, so praying for no rain tomorrow so that I can start to catch up. We leave for holiday on Monday and I want to have all the laundry done before we go!

We started the Beth Moore study last night on Esther: It's Tough Being A Woman. It sounds SOOOO good! I'm really looking forward to it!

But for now, I'm late to bed and have to get up at 5h30. Still learning! ;) Goodnight, all!!!!

Stuff

This morning we found out that the magistrate has approved Mya's adoption, and now we're just waiting for papers from Pretoria saying that Mya is officially a Hawkins. Once we receive those papers, we will have to go to Home Affairs to have her first name changed to Mya.

We also started our new school year today! It wasn't as good of a day as I had hoped, but it wasn't bad, either. We got through Math, Spelling and KONOS, and called it a day after a few interruptions stretched it out longer than I had intended. We are busily doing a week of Cowboys to finish up our study on Obedience from last year before we jump into a study on Orderliness. I am looking forward to the change, and to diving into our Apologia Science book on Astronomy.

We went out to Spur tonight for dinner with the Pages & Embrees to celebrate this step in Mya's adoption. It is such a relief to know that all the running and trying to figure out what papers we need is over!

I have been so tired the last week or two! I am trying to start going to bed no later than 10, so that I can get up in the morning and have time for my quiet time and a bit of exercise, along with my morning routine of housework before we start school. These are my first attempts at self-discipline, throwing off weights and bringing my body into subject, though I'm sure that this is just the beginning of a life-long journey!

Self Discipline

I have been contemplating self-discipline lately, and especially this morning. Maybe it's in light of my upcoming birthday. I have been thinking about the fact that in only a few years I will be 40, and I set a goal of being at my ideal weight by then. Maybe 3 years from now is too far away. I don't know. What I do know is that I have believed for years that I could never again be as thin as I was when I got married, but now I believe I can do it. I would only have to lose 2 pounds a month. I just have to figure out how to implement it in my life in a way that I don't resent the exercise and change in eating. And I may even reach my goal early! ;) I was afraid to share this with anyone because I still have that nagging voice in the back of my head that I can't do it, and I am afraid to let you watch me fail, but I decided to share so that I might have some feeling of accountability.

Anyway, that's just where my thoughts began, and I decided that I really would like to do a bit of study in God's Word on self-discipline. This led me to 1 Corinthians 9:25-27, "And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate (self-controlled) in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway." These are going to be my memory verses this week.

There are many areas in my life that I need to learn self-discipline, I am ashamed to admit, but I am going to do something about it. Maybe as I get more comfortable with making myself vulnerable, I will share with you what some of those areas are and what I'm doing about them. For now, know that I'm not going to be content with where I am, but am going to push ahead with the help of the Holy Spirit to become an imitator of the Lord.